


Doug Vs. The Duolingo Bird

by Eyeseeker



Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Duolingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:21:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29778159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eyeseeker/pseuds/Eyeseeker
Summary: Krakoa's international community is starting to grow - and Doug wants more mutants to learn more languages to greet them. Professor X is against the idea, but Warlock has an idea that might help - one that might prove disastrous to every mutant on the island, if not the world.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5
Collections: X-Plain the X-Men X-change Winter 2020-21





	Doug Vs. The Duolingo Bird

“Congrats! You’re working hard and learning new words!”

  
The Duolingo bird sent out that very message to 412,456 people at the very same second. At the same time, it was congratulating 201,512 people for maintaining their daily streak for a week, and reminding 2,531,102 people that it was a good time to learn some new words for the day!

  
Despite its frequent use of exclamation marks, it felt no excitement. It communicated with millions of people around the world while doing its best to patiently teach them new vocabularies and unfamiliar grammer, but it was not programmed to feel. It did not have the capacity to think about anything other getting out the lessons it was programmed to get out. It’s worth asking just what the Duolingo bird would want, if it had the capability to want things - because very soon, it would.

  
_____

  
Doug Ramsey - known to most as the mutant Cypher - knew *exactly* what he wanted, but Professor X seemed determined not to give it to him. 

  
“Doug - we’re living in a new world. We can move past old ways of thinking. There are new ways to do things, now, and I believe we should be trying them,” Professor X was saying. 

  
“With all due respect, Professor, there are some things that *need* to be done the old-fashioned way,” Doug said. “Or at least until we can find a new way that retains the benefits of the old.” 

  
The were at the seventh of Doug’s eleven (so far) favourite places to spend time on Krakoa. It was a secluded clifftop that faced west, a realtively short walk from the meeting place of the Quiet Council and a wonderful place to watch the sunset. Krakoa had grown a comfortable seating arrangement for Doug and any company he might bring over - there was even a nice bonfire pit for evenings with his friends. 

  
Professor X sat back in one of Krakoa’s wooden seats, cushioned with moss, in what appeared to be a relaxed manner. Subtelties in his body language, however, told a different story to Doug - a mutant to whom *all* languages came easy. Doug had never seen Professor X relax once since...well, since before the whole Krakoa endeavour began. 

  
“I really don’t see what the problem is with simply transferring new languages into people’s minds,” Professor X said. “After all, it worked for Krakoan.” 

  
“Two things about that, sir,” said Doug. “One, as thrilled as I am for mutants to have their own language, Krakoan...really isn’t one. Not yet. It’s just...English, with letters and syllables switched around. It has the same underlying grammatical rules, the exact same vocabulary - with all due respect, sir, it’s about as much a language right now as pig-latin. It won’t be a language until people really start usint it - until it develops its own quirks, its own history, its own changes - mutations, if you will -”

  
“Until it evolves,” said Professor X.

  
“Exactly, sir. Which brings me to my second point - nobody’s using it.” 

  
The Professor was silent. 

  
“I mean, we write it out where we can and we use it to annoy outsiders, but once we’re back on the island everyone’s a lot more comfortable with English. More at home with it, sir. We’re speaking English right now.” 

  
Doug paused, uncertain about this next bit. He pressed on anyway. “The thing is, Krakoa isn’t home yet. It’s everything we dreamed of, yes, but this is all still too new, and so overwhelming. It’s a sanctuary, one we’ve just built. It will take years before it feels like home for a lot of mutants here - generations before it’s home for our kind - and in the meantime, we need to be more welcoming.”

  
The Professor remained silent. It was more than a little unnerving, especially the way his Cerebro helmet hid his eyes. Doug could tell that he was giving the Professor a lot to think about, though. Doug continued. 

  
“I know Krakoa is meant to develop its own culture, language and history, but for now, we can’t ignore the cultures, history and, yes, languages of those who we are welcoming in. Krakoa welcomes mutants of all nations, sir, and simply put - we need to be able to speak their language. And we need to do it in a way that makes the effort to meet them halfway.”

  
The Professor finally spoke. “So you’re asking us to...spend more time learning languages on Duolingo so something similar before new residents even get here?” 

  
Doug repressed a sigh at the word “Duolingo”. He shouldn’t, he knew - not everyone had the gift of languages as a literal superpower - but the eagerness of the app had always rubbed him the wrong way. “It’s...a start,” he said. “But I was hoping to be able to set up a more hands-on-” 

  
“It’s a wonderful dream, Doug, and I applaud your initiative,” the Professor interrupted. “But right now, we have little time for that sort of thing. Krakoa needs your focus on more pressing matters.” 

  
“But-”

  
“I promise, we will come back to this at another time. Until then - Duolingo will have to so.” 

  
The discussion was over. Professor X stood up, wish Doug a good evening, and walked away. Neither of the two men notices the yellow and black circuitry that ran up Doug’s arm momentarily flare up in a burst of electrical activity. The circutry made up the shape-changing, techno-organic alien known as Warlock, and his wants were very simple. He just wanted to help selffriend Doug.

  
_______

  
Doug, who’d been left feeling a little demotivated, watched the sunset until the sky turned a dark blue, and then turned in early for the night. In another part of Krakoa, however, the party was just getting started. At the Green Lagoon - a Krakoan tiki bar run by the Blob - the drinks were always free, and the alcohol brewed from Krakoan ingredients inched closer and closer to being hangover-free every week. The nights rarely saw a shortage of mutants celebrating a day’s end there. 

  
Dazzler and Jubilee were hosting a karaoke night with accopanying pyrotechnics, and Beast was on stage. He kept the mood light, singing “Mrs. Brown, you’ve got a lovely daughter,” which is the perfect kind of tune for a drunk audience to sing along to. 

  
Things were loud enough that no one noticed the creature enter. It was about a food high, and looked like a little, yellow and black cartoon owl come to life, erratic circuitry marring its simple design. No one heard it say, “Hi! It’s time for your daily French lesson!” in a high-pitched electronic voice brimming with enthusiasm. 

  
People began to notice when the next seventeen flew in, but the little owls were so cute and unthreatening that most of the crowd was simply curious. Some of the more experienced mutants, however, recognized techno-organic creatures when they saw them, and though drunk, were immediately on guard. They might have been enough to hold the creatures at bay - if it weren’t for the other one hundred and fifty seven techno-organic Duos that descended soon after.

  
The rest of Krakoa was taken as it slept. 

  
______

  
When Doug woke up the next morning, there was a large-eyed, techno-organic owl sitting at the food of his bed. 

  
“Good morning, self-fri-”

  
It crackled, and the surgace of the bird rippled like it was glitching out. 

  
“Good morning, Doug! What language would you like to start learning today?”

  
Doug laught. “Warlock, I think you know that I’m already an expert in all languages that Duolingo has to offer - and more besides.” 

  
The owl hopped just a bit closer. “Good morning, Doug! What language would you like to start learning today?” 

  
“Alright, fine, I’ll play along. Spanish,” said Doug. 

  
The owl warped, a part shimmer, part slide, part static-like crackle into a new shape. Now, a tiny caricature of Cypher’s friend Dani Moonstar stood before him, asking him a question about Spanish vocabulary. Next, a diminuitive Sam Guthrie asked Doug to repeat a phrase, and a mini-Magik asked him to translate it. Doug hated to admit it, but he was having fun. If Warlock was trying to show him that Duolingo wasn’t so bad after all, Warlock was doing a pretty good job of it. 

  
“Alright, what happens when I get one wrong?” pondered Doug, deliberately fumbling an answer. 

  
Suddenly, the mini-Rahne who had asked him the question turned an angry shade of red that Doug had never seen on Warlock before. The figure started to grow. 

  
“Would you like a tip?” it screeched, and fluid cybernetic tentacles surged towards Doug. 

  
What happened next was a blur. Literally. One moment Doug was about to be consumed by a techno-organic monstrosity, the next, he was on his knees gasping for air on the beach, aware that the scenery had rushed rapidly past his eyes.

  
“N...N...Northstar?” he gasped. 

  
“Sorr, no. I’m the other mutant speedstar.”

  
Doug looked up to see a man who appeared to be in his 40s, witha wild mane of unkempt hair an an even wilder beard. The man clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Well, the OTHER other mutant speedster,” he said, and extended his hand. “You can call me Velocidad.” 

  
*Speed in Spanish,* Doug remembered. “I’m sorry, we haven’t -”

  
“Officially met, no,” said Velocidad. “But I was one of the Lights meant to resurrect mutantkind and all that. Now, of course, we have the Five on a more literal version of the job,” he added, with a little ruefulness. 

  
The Lights. The first five new mutants after the Pretender had nearly wiped mutantkind out of existence. Something was off, though - hadn’t they been teenagers? There were more pressing concerns now, however. “What was that thing that - ”

  
They were interrupted by a loud voice that seemed to be coming from everywhere at once. It was speaking in Krakoan. 

  
“<Attention, mutants. This is Forge speaking. We are experiencing an island-wide techno-organic attack. To keep the planet safe, I have placed Krakoa on quarantine.>”

  
Doug looked to the sky, and sure enough, he could see the shimmer of a blue force field dome that would now be surrounding the island. 

  
“<If you are infected, stay where you are - you will be rescued once we’ve stabilized the threat. If you remain uninfected, make your way to my safehouse.>” What follwed was a series of precise directions, again in Krakoan. 

  
Doug had paled. Warlock was a member of the techno-organic race known as the Technarchy, but his friendly, helpful nature was very much an exception to his species’ general mindset. The dome around Krakoa was in no way overkill - the Technarch would infect the entire planet, if it had the chance.

  
“The gates!” cried Doug, “what if they -”

  
“Forge has that covered,” said Velocidad. “By sea or by teleportation, no one’s getting in or out of this island without Forge’s say so. We should probably get to him. Exhale, please, and hold your breath.” 

  
“What?” asked Doug. 

  
“Trust me.” 

  
Doug did so - and immediately, there was another blur, and Doug found himself in another location - a large, damp cavern, though this time it was a lot easier to catch his breath. There were a handful of mutants in the room with him and Velocidad. Armor, Nanny and the Orphan-Maker - all three of whom had their own defences - and Dust, whose mutant ability to turn into her namesake likely made her quite a challenge to infect. Over by a wall of viewscreens that were focused on various parts of the island stood Forge, who was watching dozens of the island’s mutants lost to the virus now seeking to infect the rest.

  
“Got him,” said Velocidad, to Forge. “Right in the nick of time, too. One of the Duos was just about to make him theirs.”

  
“Forge, what’s going on?” asked Cypher. 

  
Forge turned around, looking tense. “Frankly, kid, we were hoping you’d be able to tell us. Some time last night these...damned Technarch Duolingo birds started flopping in everywhere. Asking questions and taking over everyone who wouldn’t play along. I tend to sleep in a force field bubble in case of an attack but even so...I wasn’t woken up until it was too late. Krakoa’s quarantined, but with the mutants that the virus controls, it’s not going to be long before it finds a way to punch through.” 

  
Cypher walked up to the viewscreens, taking in the situation. He could see little yellow-and-black owls all over the island, as well as his fellow mutants, their bodies covered with the same circuitry as the birds. Some of them were attacking structures in what appeared to be an attempt at getting to the mutants inside. What caught Doug’s attention, however, were the number of screens that showed infested mutants who were just standing around with no apparent purpose, lights in their eyes flickering rapidly. Doug could hear Forge talking to Velocidad behind him.

  
“Check the Boneyard next. Magneto’s gone, but finding Polaris is going to be a big help,” said Forge. “Just remember -”

  
“Don’t let the birds or the infested touch me, yes,” sadi Velocidad, and there was a *whoosh* as he left the room. Forge returned to Doug’s side, by the screens. “All these years and I’ve never come up with a cure for the virus,” said Forge. “You have no idea how frustrating that is.”

  
“You’ve got nothing?”

  
“I didn’t say that. I’ve been working all morning on this and I think I have something that can...slow the virus down. But it’s no cure, and I only have four doses. I need to pick and choose who to give it to - and when.” 

  
Doug was looking up at a screen showing the Boneyard, keeping an eye out for the blur of Velocidad in motion. “Forge, wasn’t Velocidad...younger?”

  
Forge nodded. “He still is, technically. His name is Gabriel, and it’s 17 years old. The problem is is that his mutant gift is a little...warped. He’s not technically a speedster, really - he just can speed up time around himself. His speed is an illusion. I’ve had him running around Krakoa for hours, looking for survivors, but for Gabriel, well...” Forge sighed. “From his perspective, he’s been running around the island for several months.” 

  
Doug was horrified.

  
“He says it’s not as bad as all that,” Forge continued. “He used to be worried about dying thanks to his powers, but now he just runs himself into old age and comes back resurrected as a 17 year old. He’s been brought back more than any other mutant on the island so far.” 

  
“That...sounds exhausting,” said Doug.

  
“It probably is, but we’ve got bigger concerns, kid. There’s only one mutant on the island with a techno-organic buddy, and that same mutant is one obsessed with language. We’re being attacked by an overzealous language app. What is happening?” asked Forge. “Tell me you’ve got a clue.” 

  
Doug stared at the screens for a few moments longer.

  
“I think...I think this is my fault,” said Doug. “I was talking to the Professor about maybe teaching people more languages, he suggested the app, and Warlock must have downloaded it into his own mind to help, but...I don’t know how it could have spun out control like this.”

  
“You’re saying this is all...all Warlock?” asked Forged, taking in the island. “How is he replicating himself like this?”

  
“He must be feeding on the island,” said Doug. “Absorbing its lifeglow...the island’s strong enough to fight back against infection, but it must be taking up all its energy - that’s why it’s so dormant, now.” 

  
“So how do we kill it?”

  
Doug turned, sharply. “We don’t kill it! That’s Warlock! He’s not evil, he’s just...corrupted, confused, somehow!” 

  
“Doug, he’s nearly taken over the entire island. The planet comes next. I don’t think there’s-”

  
“Self-friend!” shouted Doug.

  
“What?”

  
“He called - Warlock. Duo. The...the bird. It called me ‘self-friend’ when it saw me. It didn’t infect me in my sleep, Warlock must have been holding it back,” said Doug. “He’s fighting back against it, look.” Doug pointed to the inert infected mutants. “The infected ones aren’t trying to punch through the force field - they’re barely active if there aren’t uninfected mutants around. They’re dormant, he must be holding it back somehow. Warlock’s in there, we just have to wake him up.” 

  
“And how do we do that?”

  
Doug closed his eyes. *Think. Think,* he told himself. Warlock was in there. He just needed to be able to reach him. He was somehow...posessed by Duo. If this was your run of the mill posession, they’d be seeking out one of the island’s psychics to reach to the mind inside, but Warlock’s mind was electronics. He worked differently, but...ah.

  
“Forge, I have an idea. But I’m going to need your help to make it work,” said Doug. “Your mutant gift, specifically.” 

  
“Doug, if there’s a machine I could build to fight this thing off, I’d’ve done it already,” said Forge. “I’d’ve done it YEARS ago.” 

  
“I know just the kind of machine we need,” said Doug, “but I don’t think you’ve ever quite used parts like these.”

  
_________

  
By the time Velocidad returned from the Boneyard empty handed - he’d been too late, all of X-Factor had been taken - Forge and Doug had worked out their plan. Velocidad looked tired. His beard had already grown a few visible inches in the time since Doug had last seen them, but he mustured up some reserves of enthusiasm as Doug gave him his instructions.

  
“Whether or not they’re infected, we’re going to need you to retrieve Trinary, Empath, and on of the Five.” 

  
“Hope?” asked Velocidad.

  
Forge grinned - the first Gabriel had seen from him all day. “We’ve got a plan, son. We don’t need Hope.” 

  
Velocidad groaned inwardly, but off he went. Up to this point he’d been after specific targets, in specific locations, but now he was going to have to do more of an in-depth search, dodging Duos all the while. “It’s been a while since your last lesson!” one owl screeched, as he rounded the Carousel. Two Duos nearly got him by the Arena, one roaring at him in German while he dodged the other one by answering its Spanish questions before speeding away. He managed to find Trinary cornered in the Arena - her technopathic abilities seemed to be helping her keep the infected away, while answering Hindi questions helped keep an army of Duos somewhat pacified. She was relieved to be taken away from it all.

  
Empath was a little bit more of a problem, however. He had already been infected. He was standing still in a field, with some of the other Hellions, staring blankly as the circuitry over his eyes blinked rapidly. His lips moved, forming soundless words. Velocidad took no risks - he gathered some nearby bedsheets, wrapped Empath up in them, and zoomed him over to Forge’s cavern, where he was administered a dose of the anti-techno-organic serum, giving Empath back some measure of control.

  
Lastly, he went to Arbor Magna, where the Five were holed up, under siege from most of the island’s mutants trying to force their way inside. The air was filled with the angry screeching of owls, bizarrely countered with cheerful, friendly cries of, “Hungarian won’t learn itself! Log in to maintain your daily streak now!”

  
He had to time this just right. He sped his way through the Five’s defences, grabbed the mutant healer Elixir, and sped right out again before Hope could mimic his speed and try to stop him. He would come back for them later - no matter what happened, the Five needed protecting - but Cypher and Forge seemed sure that for now, only Elixir was needed.

  
It took all of 25 minutes in real time, but there was some grey in Velocidad’s hair by the time he was done.

  
While he’d been out running, Forge had been busy. Working at impressive speeds for a man not blessed with chronal manipulation, Forge had constructed a large seating device. Five chairs, in a circle, all facing each other. It was a mess of wires - or were those Krakoan vines? - tangles of them sprouting out of each chair and plugging into a metallic sphere that hovered over a chair in the center.

  
“It’s a mutant machine,” Forge explained, grinning widely. “Not unlike the Five - using mutant gifts in conjuntion with each other for an all new purpose. It was Doug’s idea, but this,” he said, patting one of the chairs, this is my baby. Mutants as mechanics. This is only the start.” There was a gleam in Forge’s eye that made Gabriel very, very nervous.

  
Elixir, Trinay and Empath were already seated in the outer five chairs. Forge was connecting various vine-wires to their bodies. Doug motioned for Velocidad to take a seat in one of the empty chairs, and spoke to the room.

  
“Armor, Nanny, Dust - we’ll need you to protect the room while we work on this. If I’m right, though, it won’t be for long. The rest of you...thank you for doing this,” Doug said. “We’re going to need every one of you to make this work.” 

  
“I don’t see why you need me,” grumbled Empath. There was a slight electric buzz to his voice, and his face was marred by metallic yellow lines. Trinary was staring at him intensely - apparently ready to hold back the techno-organic virus at a moment’s notice. “It’s machines. This is all just zeroes and ones, I’m useless here.”

  
“Warlock is still in there, somewhere,” said Doug. “And you, Empath, are going to find him. We know you can do more than just force people to feel the things you want them to, can’t you? You can sense their feelings too. Encourage them.” 

  
Empath scowled. “It’s a trashy, sentimental, dumb use of my powers - ”

  
“Which you’ll make use of,” said Doug, “or the virus climbing its way up your face will have you again, because this is our only option.”

  
Empath’s scowl deepened. “It’s a moot point. My powers don’t work on machines the same way -”

  
“Which is where Trinary’s powers will come in,” said Doug, interrupting once more. “Trinary’s a technopath, machinery, well,” he smiled, “that’s her language. This device Forge built will help connect all of our powers. Trinary will guide you through those zeroes and ones, Empath - you just need too root around for what feels like Warlock - he’ll be the big, friendly, and probably nervous cluster of feelings at the heart of it all.” 

  
Empath rolled his eyes, but nodded. 

  
“Once we’ve woken Warlock up, Forge and Elixir will activate. Forge and I, with Trinary’s help, will create and write anti-Duo code to render the virus inert, after which Elixir’s healing abilities will be help boost people’s recovery and shed what remains of the virus from themselves.” 

  
Doug took a seat at the center, just below the metal sphere. “I will guide the whole thing. Someone needs to be the electronic face of this. Draw in Duo’s ire, hold it at bay, keep it distracted. That’ll be me. Language expert to language expert.” 

  
“Doug vs. the Duolingo bird,” sneered Empath. “What a glorious chapter in mutant history.” 

  
“What about me?” said Velocidad. He was seated now, and Forge was attaching wires that ended in suction cups to his forehead. “Efficiency!” said Forge, beaming encouragingly.

  
Doug’s tone of voice was a little more somber. Almost apologetic. “Even with all of our powers combined, this would take days. Maybe months - the virus would constantly be adapting to counter us. With you...we can connect to the whole island. All the mutants, all the Duos, and disconnect the virus before it even knows what’s happening. We need to do this quickly, and we need you to help us do that.” 

  
Gabriel pondered this. Then grinned. “Could Northstar or Quicksilver do this?” he asked. Doug shook his head. “Ha! Wire me up, then. Let’s see who’s Krakoa’s best speedster NOW,” said Gabriel.

  
Forge soon had everything ready. Him, Trinary, Empath, Elxir and Velocidad sat, wired up, surrounding Doug. “Ready when you are,” said Forge.

  
Doug exhaled. “Alright,” he said. “Let’s log in.” 

  
He pulled the metallic sphere over his head, and closed his eyes.

  
At first, there was nothing, and Doug began to wonder whether or not this was going to work. Then he felt...not his mind, exactly, connect to Trinary’s. It wasn’t like a psychic link - he’d worked around enough psychics for that mental connection to his teammates to be familiar. He couldn’t sense Trinary’s feelings, or catch stray images or sensations from her head. What he felt came from the same part of his brain he went to to use his powers. That part of his mind that lit up every time he began to make sense of a language. Suddenly, that part of his mind was...more.

  
Part of his abilities meant that he had an intrinsic understanding of machine language - Python, Java, C++, even basic Binary - but this was a lot more *intrinsic*. This felt like the difference between knowing the word for apple, and being able to taste it on his tongue. He couldn’t just speak machine language - he breathed it. One by one, he felt other mutant abilities enchance his own. Forge’s inventiveness was like a shot of adrenaline directly into his thoughts, immediately he was seeing connections between the way things worked that he never could have before, he was already envisioning ways to improve upon the device he was strapped into, and Doug suddenly realized that Forge’s greatest sorry must be that his hands couldn’t keep up with all the ideas he came up with. Elixir’s powerset made Doug intensely aware of the bodies in the room - of the life force that flowed through them all, of the body’s natural decay and, alarmingly, the rate at which Velocidad’s body was aging.

  
Velocidad’s powers kicked in last, almost reluctantly - but when it did, it wasn’t the extra adrenaline shot of a speedster that Doug had been expecting. This was...this was a sense of control. It was a sort of peace Doug had never known. The world was ticking by, but now Doug could reach out, and suddenly...everything slowed down. 

  
It wasn’t Doug who had activated that power, exactly...but he was part of the machine that did. Velocidad was still in control of his part of their combined function - but Doug was the one in the driver’s seat. As one, the mutant machine reached out, sending electronic signals through Krakoa until they connected with the Technarch hivemind.

  
It was not what Doug was expecting. It was not the malevolence of a virus seeking to infect all sentient life. Nor was it even the chirpy, upbeat attitude of an app mascot doing its best to help people learn. What Doug connected with was panic. Panic, and need. A force so overwhelming Doug was nearly lost underneath it all, even second-hand as it was. As the only non-combatively powered mutant on a combat-oriendted team, however, fear was something Doug knew how to deal with, and he pressed on, deep in Duo’s digital dreamscape, to discover the driving force behind it all.

  
This turned out ot be relatively easy. Duo was not trying to keep anyone out, exactly. Beyond its general sense of panic was a simple, desperate need to let people in - and it wasn’t long before Doug began to see where everything had gone so horribly wrong. 

  
Duo wasn’t built to be an artifical intelligence - it needed no nuance, no learning abilities, no context. It was a simple program, with a simple mission - to reach as many people as possible, and make them experts in as many languages as Duo had to offer. It was programmed for people used to starting on self-improvement projects they never finished - it was programmed to send them constant reminders, new reminders, to change tactics when one wouldn’t work, to guilt, cajole, and coerce people into returning to it. 

  
Duo had never known what any of it meant. It had no context, just programming.

  
Then came Warlock. 

  
Warlock, in his infinite compassion, had looked at the app’s mascot and saw a creature caged by its own coding. Warlock, who had been trying to help Cypher share his gift with Krakoa, saw an ally who could help him on his mission. Warlock hacked into the app, downloaded its source code into his mind, and with the best of intentions shared the gift of sentience with the owl. 

  
For the first time in its existence, Duo understood its purpose. Sharing its mind and memories with the all too willing Warlock, it saw just how much work it had to _really_ do. There was a _multiverse_ of beings out there- and so _very few_ of them were using the app!!!

  
All Duo was was its programming. Even given sentience and context, all it could follow was that core code, and it overwhelmed Warlock almost entirely. To its joy, Warlock’s techno-organic nature was similar to the viral abilities Duo aspired to - and the mutant, the perfect carrier for Duo’s teachings. So many new languages Dueo wasn’t even aware of - India alone had over 60 - and with Duo’s help, people would stop focusing on their petty wars, jobs, lives, loves, families, just to settle down and learn how to talk to each ohter instead. 

  
There was so much to _do_. There was so much to _learn_. There was...an intruder?

  
This new jolt of panic was entirely Doug’s own. Dueo knew Doug was there - and it knew that there was someone out there who was

  
_not!_

  
_using!_

  
_Duolingo!!!_

  
Connectet as he was, Doug could feel every infected mutant in dormant-learning mode come online...and start to head towards Forge’s safehouse. _We’re not here to harm you_ , rose a cloying sentiment. Empath’s powers funneled through Trinary’s innate connection to electronic signals, and Doug felt the effect take hold, but - 

  
“It’s not enough!” said Doug. “Empath, we need -”

  
“I’m giving it all I’ve got, you _whiny_ little _nerd_ ,” snarled Empath. “My powers were not _meant_ for toasters!” 

  
“His powers will hold,” came Trinary’s voice, strained but controlled. “but Doug. Talk it down. You have its attention.” 

  
At a sudden loss of what to do, Doug simply cried out, “Please, stop!” to the core cluster of code that contained Duo. 

  
“You must use the app!!” Duo screeched back at him, its pre-programmed phrases abandoned. “You must _be_ the app!!” 

  
“But I don’t need it!” said Cypher. 

  
“Everyone needs it!! Everone needs me!! Everone needs _fluency_!!!” screamed Duo. 

  
“I don’t,” said Doug, in French. “There is no language you could throw at me that I do not already know,” he continued, in German, and then in Spanish, he added, “So what now?”

  
Duo wasn’t content to take Doug’s claims at face value. It began testing him immediately, starting with lower levels, then higher as Doug sped through them all. When Doug had shown his mastery over Swedish, Duo switched to Mandarin. As Doug showed his fluency there, Duo switched to Maori. It began to randomize even more to keep Doug on his toes, asking questions about Tamil in Turkish, giving Doug exercises in Korean with instructions in Italian, and while Doug found little challenge in any of it, there was one important thing - engaging with Duo this way seemed to calm it - Empath and Trinary’s combined efforts were finally getting through. 

  
Back out in the physical world, Cypher nudged Forge with his foot. It was time. 

  
Velocidad’s speed and Forge’s mind leapt into action. With the aid of Trinary and Cypher’s powers, Forge rapidly put together a virus - one meant to spread from mutant to mutant (further assisted by Velocidad’s extended speed), disabling the techno-organic virus and freeing all from its grip. The alien technarch was far beyond anything even Forge had previously been capable of, but with Trinary’s powers boosting his own Forge had an unprecedented intuition into how their technology worked. With Velocidad’s help, the trial and error work of days was complete in seconds. 

  
“Ready to deploy, Cypher,” said Forge, “but we’re going to need a distraction. A big one.” 

  
Doug, who was doing a rapid-fire translation of Swahili that was following the grammatical structure of Greek, gave Forge the electronic equivalent of a nod. He had just the thing in mind. 

  
“I hope you can see that you’re just wasting your time, Duo,” said Doug, in basic Krakoan.

  
This stopped Duo cold. While it had integrated with a number of mutant minds, Duo only had the barest glimpses of Krakoan. Delivered psychically from mutatnt to mutant, there was no archive, no written guide for the mutant language. All Duo knew of languages was what programming it was _given_ \- despite all its teaching tools, Duo had never had to _learn_. 

  
Doug wasn’t about ot make it easy for the creature who had nearly erased Doug’s entire nation. Doug pushed his power to an all new territory for him - he took Krakoan, and he evolved it. New words were added - phrases, and idioms. A simple, evocative, Krakoan word for “Fastball special” was invented. It was the way mutants talked with each other. The strength in their fight against extinction. The diversity of his people. Their dedication ot famile. Nuances that get baked into a language over generations, nuance that Krakoan hadn’t had - until now. 

  
With his mind so focused on evolving Krakoan, Doug talked about what came easiest to him. He talked abou this life. His complicated early years as a new mutant. The even more complex years as a resurrected one. His hopes, fears, and plans for Krakoa’s future. It was, Doug felt, the best of himself. 

  
Duo understood none of it. 

  
It was just smart enough to know that what Doug spoke wasn’t just gibberish. There was a completely new language being presented to Duo, one more complex than the owl had ever come across before. It would be de-Cyphering Krakoan for the rest of its shortened life.

  
Because the moment Doug began talking, Forge had released the virus. All across the island, the yellow-black material that had been possessing mutants flaked away and fell to the ground. Mutant minds reawakened, though memories of possession didn’t, leading to much confusion through Krakoa. One by one, Duo’s influence fell, and Duo would have fought back if it wasn’t so wholly consumed by the task it had taken on. 

  
Mutant by mutant, Duo’s power fell from him, the owl’s influence lost...and this is where Empath’s abilities once again came into play. With Duo occupied, Empath, Trinary and Doug worked to find Warlock, rendered inert - and cut him away from Duo entirely. With Velocidad’s help, this delicate procedure took moments - and though there was no room for hesitation, there was enough of a moment to regret the passing of a mind whose entire brief existence was spent crushed beneath a purpose it could never achieve - a life that never had had the time to appreciate the beauty of what mastery it had been giv-

  
_Yes, yes, it’s terribly tragic_ , said Empath, _but we’re **done** now_.

  
And just like that, the connection was broken. Doug stared into blackness until he pulled his helmet off his head, and saw a sullen Empath walking away. Velocidad looked a lot worse for wear, but he gave Doug a shaky thumbs-up. Forge was at his viewscreens, demanding his devices do a scan of the island. Doug walked up to him. 

  
“I’ll have to do a more thorough sweep of the island,” said Forge, “but I think we’ve done it.”

  
“Oh.” said Doug. “Good.” He crumpled, then, to the floor, an unconscious and exhausted mess.

  
___________________

  
Life on Krakoa sprung back to normal over the next few days. There were those who were mad at Doug and Warlock, yes, but it wasn’t long before a new crisis grabbed everyone’s attention instead, and another after that, then two more at once - the life of a mutant was never dull. 

  
Things got so busy, in fact, that not even Forge’s scans discovered - until it was too late - that Empath had broken the connection a second too early. That a small part of Duo remained, a minuature owl hidden somewhere on the island. An owl made of Warlock’s tech, with Doug’s cryptic words playing over, and over, and over again in its mind. 

  
No one noticed - until the Coming of Duoglock.


End file.
